The Diagnosis Is In . . .

A few days ago, I got an e-mail from a man I've been talking to, named John. We had been talking for about a week now, and he had been wanting to take me out when he got the chance to. He said he gets really busy with work, but he was going to try and make some time to take me out to the island, to just have a good time. I understood him being busy, because I knew vaguely that he worked in some kind of medical field, just not exactly sure what. He did ask me to wear a skirt though, which I thought was cute, why not oblige? lol

Anyway, we had settled on a Sunday at 6:00 P.M. When it got around 4:00 P.M., I started getting ready, showering, getting dressed, etc. I don't know why, but I felt really nervous, I'm guessing because it was the first time an older guy had formally taken me out on an actual date. As I was laying around, trying to pass the time until he came, Nancy gave me a ring. I was really glad she did, because I had needed someone to talk to and just didn't know who to call. She asked me what I was doing and I told her getting ready, and she asked what for and I told her a date, so she asked me spill about him. I gave her what little details I knew, not really sure what to say about him. Then as I started putting on my makeup, she started telling me about some horrible Scott drama that happened the previous day, that really made me drop my jaw. As she told me the story, I started to feel kind of bad that I had made plans because I wanted to hang out with her and distract her from the situation. I expressed that to her and told her I'd cancel if she needed company, but she said that it was fine, that I should go out and have a good time, that we could hang out tomorrow (since we had already made plans). She was about to let me go, but I asked her to continue talking to me until it was time to go. We dragged on a forced conversation, until he texted me saying he was outside. I peeked through my balcony window, but didn't see him. He, apparently, was waiting in the very front, next to the sign by the street. I started walking out and told Nancy I was off.

I met him next to the gardenia tree, got in his car, we faced each other and said a warm hello. He told me if it was too cold to tell him, since I was wearing a skirt, and I immediately said, it's too cold. He laughed and turned the A/C on. He commented on how he was glad I brought a jacket, since the weather had taken a weird turn, and got very gloomy, windy and a bit chilly. We started driving and headed towards the freeway. I felt like a dork because a few minutes later I told him it was too hot (probably because of my jacket) but we found a good temperature. He immediately mentioned kids and an ex-wife, which threw me off a little bit, because I wasn't expecting him to become that open with me within the first moments of conversation. He told me that he had a little boy and little girl, both in elementary I believe. We talked a little bit about his kids and then moved onto other small talk. As we got on the freeway, we started heading in a weird direction than I was used to, to go to the island. It made me wonder if our original plan was still in effect, or if the weather had changed them. He began asking me questions about what I did, what I do in my spare time, etc, etc. He asked me what high school I had gone to, I mentioned Lopez and he said he used to go there. Not go there as in recieved an education from there, but go there as in work. I was kind of confused, knowing he worked in medicine, so I asked him what he did exactly. He told me that he worked at a few places, but that he was a psychologist, usually for children and teens, occassionally social work. But he used to go to Lopez to talk to students, like the lady who used to come see me. What's funny is, he stopped the year before I went to Lopez. He started telling me that he worked for a few offices around Brownsville and a few in other parts of the Valley. As we got off the freeway, we turned into the street going towards the hospital, closer to Olmito, and started going straight on that road. I figured I should just ask where we were going and he told me we were going to the island. He mentioned that we were just taking an alternate route to the island. He asked me, as we drove, if it was okay to massage my thigh as we drove, and I let him. ;)

We drove down the straight line, and I looked around, as I wasn't that familiar with this part of Brownsville. He told me that he wasn't originally from the valley, but that he was born in Los Angeles, of all places. He moved here while he was still a kid, and has, since he was in college, lived in a million and one places in Texas. He told me how he doesn't even bother putting up his stuff, since he moves so often, like the place he was at now, which he was renting from a friend's grandmother, was decorated with mostly grandma stuff, which totally wasn't him, but he was already looking at property at the island anyway. He also said that a big part of why he moves so often, is because of his ex-wife, who apparently likes to meddle, stalk and cause drama in his life. I thought maybe he was just talking out of bitterness, until he mentioned some of the things she'd done and does. It made me feel kind of bad for his kids, by putting them in a bad position, in the middle of it. As we talked, we passed by this weird building with dinosaurs in front of it. I had asked him about it, because I'd never seen or heard of it, and he said it had been there for years and that it was owned by Indians. When I asked what it was he literally said it was a place for winter Texans to come and take pictures and that they sold souveniers as well. I thought it was kind of silly, but still interesting that they had pretty good business, despite the state of the economy. I'd like to go back there eventually. How random to see a giant brontosaurus in the nowhere ends of Brownsville. Hahaha!

He asked me a little bit more about myself, about the night we met, etc, when we started coming into Port Isabel. He asked me if I was hungry, which I said no to, since I had had dinner with Henry only a few hours prior, but I did mention that I was extremely thirsty, maybe from talking so much? He said he was the kind of guy who could eat forever and that he could go for a beer and a little food. We stopped in at Tom & Jerry's, him following in behind me (which felt weird, I'm so used to following lol), and we sat down at a table in a little corner. I had been there before once, on a horrible horrible horrific date, so I wasn't feeling too bad about maybe missing out on great food, or anything. He told me he usually liked to just order one step at a time, to avoid ordering food he didn't want to eat. Our waiter came, he seemed like a really energetic, talkative guy (it may have been the slow night, though), and gave us our menus, asking us what we wanted to drink. John ordered a beer and I ordered a water, which the waiter said, "Are you serious? You don't want maybe something else? Coke, tea, beer, anything?" I laughed and said I was fine. I looked at the menu, mostly to humor the waiter, and we talked about what we liked and didn't like. He seems to be really into seafood, namely shrimp. The waiter came back pretty promptly with our drinks and John ordered a Buffalo Shrimp appetizer and said he'd hold onto the menu, in case that didn't fill him up. I didn't order anything, since I wasn't hungry. The waiter was a little annoyed, in a friendly way, and asked us if we were sure, if we wanted real food, instead, and John said we might a little later. :)

So, the waiter went off, to put in our order, and we got back to talking. He told me about some friends he had at the island, and the interesting people they were. He went through his phone and showed me some of his photos, explaining what they all were, most of them from his trip in Mexico. He seemed to be really attached to Mexico, in almost a kidd-ish sort of way. He showed me pictures of gold covered churches, doggies on rooftops, flowers, kids, etc. I had kind of forgotten that I asked Vanessa to call me around 8pm, because I wasn't 100% on who he was, and I kind of thought now, that I didn't need her to call anymore, but I really couldn't break up the date to say otherwise. She ended up calling around this time, and I couldn't very well ignore it, since she might think something would be wrong. So I excused myself and took the phone call, which was super short, maybe 15 seconds. While I was on the phone though, I had looked over to John, and he kind of smiled, like he knew what the phone call was for. Which I kind of felt embarassed over. But he didn't seem to mind, so I guess its whatever. :P



His Buffalo Shrimp came, and I picked at his carrots and celery, with him, and we talked about how I couldn't speak Spanish, and he mentioned his friend who moved to Mexico, to learn Spanish, we talked about where we'd like to see ourselves in maybe 20 or 30 years, our job statuses, our houses, etc. I told him I was a little torn, that I either wanted this huge extravagant house, or a small little farm/ranch with lots of chickens, produce and cows. He said he wanted a small house, somewhere in Mexico, nothing to huge or unneccessary. He told me he didn't really care for cities anymore. Our waiter came around a few more times, refilling his beer. I think I let him refill my water once, and told him he could, if it'd give him something to do. lol He told me about how he loved the way some people go through their whole lives, with the simplest lives, not wanting too much, just satisfied with mediocrity. That he admired people who didn't always crave the biggest and best. Although, funny enough, we discussed us both being people who needed to keep being ambitious or had bigger goals. He told me he preferred living simple most of the time, and using the extra amounts of money, once in awhile, to go out with friends and live it up for a night or two. That seemed like a good plan, to enjoy luxury in spurts. Maybe if it was all the time, it might not be as great and become a little too second nature and numb?

Our waiter had come over a few times, to ask if we were hungry yet, and even passed by, with a huge plate of nachos, saying, "See, food!" We both just laughed it away. At one point, there was a song that came out on the speaker, an older tune, that I couldn't possibly know, unless I listened to the music often, and he offered me $10 to name it. Unfortunately I couldnt. :P He got up to go to the bathroom, and the waiter came by and asked if we were ready for the check. I'm pretty sure he wanted to clear the table, since we were just camping. I told him that I wasn't the one paying the bill, so he'd have to wait until John got back to ask. When he came back, I whispered that the waiter might be on him and then got up to the little girls room myself. I kind of took a minute to realize we had been talking for 3 hours straight, and I was a bit impressed at how easy it was. So far, there really hadn't been any weird, awkward or uncomfortable moment. I kind of always told myself that I had a date curse, because every time I went on one, I had a horrible time and it just went awry fast. I finished up and went back to sit with John, who was talking to the waiter.

They were talking about cars, so I just listened. I really couldn't keep up, and it kind of dragged on, and I kept looking at the waiter, thinking he may be spending too much time at our table. He even mentioned, "Man, she must be thinking I'm such an idiot, keeping you two from talking." But he just kept going, hahaha. He told John that he had a really sweet car, and that he wouldn't mind driving us home, just to take it for a spin. John said that since he had been drinking, he was going to let me drive us home (jokingly, of course), and the waiter told me he was jealous of me. He did have a nice car, but I guess I'm so out of tune with cars to not appreciate it that much. lol We wrapped up our stay and made our way out, John again following. I asked him what stirred the conversation, and he said he just poked out the window and asked if it was his car. I mentioned that no matter how simple people are, or are okay with simplicity, there is sure to be one thing they wouldn't mind splurging on. In his case, I guess it was cars. John agreed and thought it was a little dissapointing, but realistic.

So we started making our way back to the bridge, so we could head back to Brownsville. In my head, I was hoping the night wasn't over, but I didn't want to flat out ask if it was. We started talking about movies, mostly older titles. I explained to him how I would one day like to make films, but thought it was silly that I didn't spend too much time watching them. He told me all he did was watch movies. Especially on nights he couldn't sleep, he would watch 2 or 3 a night (which to me is a lot, I'd get restless). We talked about our favorite classic movies, and then he started talking about people and their heads. He started telling me about his different younger patients (no specifics, of course) and how he felt for a lot of them, to be so young and so complicatedly, emotionally mixed up. He told me that he had a lot of of kids who were sexually molested by family members, dads uncles, moms, aunts and how unfortunately common it all was, and how fucked up that was. He talked about people who were depressed, who committed suicide. How when someone really wants to commit suicide they won't say a word about it. We had discussed a close friend of mine, from years ago. He asked me if I saw it coming, and I told him not in a million years. That there were maybe reasons he would, but he was the utmost happiest person I ever knew. He talked about people who walked the line, people who cut, either for fashion or of disorder. He told me, "In all the years I've worked, talking to patients, 99% of the time, the reason is because someone really close to them, like a mom or dad, brother or sister, sexually molested them at a really young age." It kind of freaked me out that that's what he had learned, because I have a close friend of mine that did that, and I can not imagine it for the life of me that ever happening to her. She seems to be okay with most of her family, aside from usual spats. But I thought about it a little bit, and I know she has an uncle she hates to death, but I just hope that isn't the reason. I kind of argued to him that I knew someone like that, and he just kind of said I wouldn't say it didn't happen. I'm almost positive it did. That was a weird thought to shake.

He also told me about people he knew, from working with them. Other doctors, pediatricians, wives of doctors, etc. in Brownsville and how they weren't usually how they seemed. He told me that pediatricians were super aggressive. That they treated their wives like shit and that they made them have sex with other men, in weird co-worker gang bangs, which he thinks is ironic, since they work with kids and need to be happy and friendlier. But maybe its the whole double life thing. He also told me that all these soccer mom women, in their huge escalades, often sleep with like 7 or 8 men, cheating all of them, or succumbing to gang sex for their husbands for material gain. Say if they had all these boyfriends, they'd use one for a car, one for house payments, one for a gym membership, one for vacations etc. And the women who did what they were told to by their husbands, even if they hated what was going on, they got so used to living with wealth and luxury, that they didn't care to leave it, which I thought was kind of sad. To me, it was a weird and unexpected way to see the doctors I had been in and out of. If it wasn't for his title, I don't know if I'd believe him. I'm sure people come to talk to him all the time, but wow...

We went on to talk about dreams, which was maybe my favorite conversation of the night. He told me how psychoanalists were probably the rarist doctors in the entire world, because the education is so lengthy and intense and complicated. That to understand and help interpret psychology through dreams wasn't a degree they tossed around, plus the education is expensive, but they in turn get paid out pretty well. He mentioned that the repetitive dreams that people have (not exact, but same overall), often express the depth of a person's personality, which I thought was really interesting. I explained to him that I had two repetitive dreams: 1. About experiencing the end of the world, or life after the end of the world and 2. Spending the most wonderful day, with a man, whose face I can never see. Of course, he wouldn't have been able to tell me anything about it, but we did toy around with it a little bit. He told me he didn't like to dig into things he wasn't qualified to do, and sometimes things he was qualified to do.

As we drove into town, he firstly asked me if I needed to get home, and I said nope, he said good and made a turn. I asked him where we were going and he said back to his house. My inner monologue: "Yay!" :) He continued with what he had been saying. He told me that when he first graduated, he had thrown a house party, soon after, and they had a few drinks. Some girls had asked him to do the ink blot tests to them and evaluate them, for fun. After the test was over, they egged him on to give the results, but he was pretty hesistant and didn't want to, since it had said that she had been molested as a child. When he finally gave the results, she ended up crying and crying about how her dad had raped her or something, so now he won't do it, no matter how hard anyone begs. When he was done with his story, I kind of joked that I wanted him to do it to me too, but he just laughed it off. We were already pulling up to his house anyway.

As we walked to his door 13, he continued telling me that the blots meant nothing, that it was just random stimuli, to get a reaction, or a set of words. He told me that certain words wouldn't mean anything if said. When we were in, and I asked to use his bathroom. When I got out, he told me to come to his bedroom and make myself comfortable, and he went to the kitchen and then to the bathroom. I kicked off my sandals, and sat on his bed, just looking around. When he came back in, he said, "You see, grandma decor. Its not my taste, I just decided not to put anything up." I said, "Its not that grandma, its like a subtle grandma look." He laughed and said, "What? So there are degrees to how grandma a room can look?" Then he came to the edge of the bed and asked me to stand up. I got up, and he hugged me closer to him, and started kissing my neck and chest, using his hands to rub my back. He unhooked and took off my jacket and shirt, then turned me around. He kind of just hugged and rocked with me. He pulled my hair off my shoulder, and nuzzled my neck. For a second he just inhaled my scent, and felt me. He bent me over and kissed my back, breathing down it, and it just made my skin feel like tiny little ants, scurrying away. He unhooked my bra, and just cradled and massaged me. It was so sensual to just feel his breathe. His hands and skin were INCREDIBLY soft, and it felt good to have them all over me. He turned me around, and took off his clothes, climbed on top of me and kissed and sucked my nipples. And he picked me up a little bit, and placed me further on the bed, spread my legs, and pulled up my skirt and went down on me. Wow, love a guy who takes initiative, especially when it feels that great. He spent a lot of time down there, and when he was done, he came up and kissed me and had another go at my nipples. Then he rose up and opened my legs, and put himself inside me. He leaned over me and grabbed my legs in each of his arms, thrusting in and out, picking me up, and nudging his face hard against mine, me moaning into his ear, him breathing hard and telling me how great I felt. It was all going very well, and he then suddenly stopped.

He flopped on his back onto the bed, breathing hard, put his hand over his eyes and laughed a little. I just kind of looked at him because I wasn't sure what was funny. I also wasn't sure if he had cum or not. He looked at me, and said, "Wow, you feel really good. Its pussys like yours that are the reason the world is overpopulated." I just kind of laughed and said thanks, and relaxed on the bed, and he went on, "I almost came inside you, but I pulled out in time. Just give me a minute." So we layed on the bed a short while, before he mounted me again. He took about 6 or 7 more breaks, so he wouldn't cum inside me, until he laid there for a little while. He seemed to be getting soft, so I went down to give him head. It was interesting to see the way his balls clenched, like it felt good. He said, at one point, "Yeah, you're really good at that." In the middle of it, he suddenly got up, carried and positioned me back on my back and went inside me again. This time around, he was able to cum, in my inner thigh. He was nice enough to wipe it off though. :)

We both laid on the bed a short while, just sort of hazing off. It looked like he was sort of getting sleepy. And we both started to get dressed. I grabbed my purse and heard it vibrating. It was Alec. I picked up and told him I'd call when I got home. When I closed the phone, I noticed there were about 6 missed calls from him, all about a minute apart. It was odd behavior for him. We went to his car, and started back to my house. It was a pretty quiet ride back, and maybe midway through the ride, he said he wondered if he wanted to go into work tomorrow. He had to pack up an office and move out of it and wasn't really looking forward to it. I told him he should go and just get it out of the way, and he agreed...

We pulled up to where he had picked me up, and we looked at each other a little bit, smiled and pecked each other goodnight. He said he wanted to do it again soon, and that he'd be in touch, and he was off.

I did call Alec back, didn't play into his bullshit games, and we had a short talk and I went to bed. I had such an interesting and fun night, I didn't want it to be spoiled. :)