These Aren't The Awkward Moments I Live For...

Things have kind of been up in the air with David. It feels like maybe I was wrong in assuming anything about him. The first night I had gone over to his house, when he asked me where I felt things going, I felt like I understood him. And maybe I was wrong, and maybe there's some truth to it? Well, I guess it would be good to start. After that, we talked here and there, but we really never talked about hanging out again. I was having fun with him, so I asked him when the next time we would get together would be. He told me anytime I wanted, so we made plans for that next Tuesday. This time in the morning. He told me he usually had the house to himself then. That really sounded like he was expecting more to happen, and to be quite honest, I almost wanted it. I knew for a fact, we weren't going to go as far as we could, since I was on my period. We were talking Monday night a little bit, and I mentioned not being sleepy, so he promised to be my alarm, in case I didn't wake up.



As it turned out, my mom got her federal tax return that morning, so she came into my room at 7 A.M., I sleep naked, so I poked my head out from under the blanket before she could start shaking me, to wake me up. She said, "I got my money!! Wake up and help me go spend it!!" That did sound like a really great idea, so I woke up and went downstairs to try and wake up. I had gone to bed really late (at 4 A.M., if I remember correctly). I sat downstairs for a long time, watching my mom get ready, listening to her ramble on about god knows what, staring into the tv screen's monotonous news programs, listening to Obama's mono-syllabic talking stye, hypnotizing myself in the half-asleep mundaness of the morning. I actually felt this enormous headache pounding at my sinuses and temples, and my stomache felt a bit queezy, so I laid there, huddled up in Jacob's baby blanket. My mom kept asking over and over and over and over if I was going because I should get ready because she doesn't want to have to wait for me, she just wants to go go go go go! My lack of repsonsiveness must've been enough clue for her. I did want to go, but at the same time, I was curious to see what hanging out with David would lead to, this time. After my mom left, I went to my shower, and started getting ready.

He picked me up around noon-ish and we headed over to his house, we got to his room and closed the door. I'll save a lot of unneccessary details, because there's more that I'd like to get to. Long story short, I whipped his junk out, beat him off and gave him dome. I'm kind of amused that he's the kind of guy who picked you up by your hair to kiss you in the middle of it. Most guys are kind of turned off my a girl's mouth after all that....So everything was fine, nothing had changed etc etc etc...

So the next time around, which was two days after, I felt like I was getting off my period, So when he asked me to meet up Thursday, I was expecting to go all the way. Its starting to feel like clockwork though, get picked up around the same time, at the same place, the same routine. I don't know about the rest of the world, but I like adventure in my sex. Yeah....

So, me thinking, oh well, of course I'm off my period, I nodded when he asked if I wanted to fuck. I almost want to laugh.... So, we started and everything's going great. Granted he's not any Superman, but it was the first time I'd had sex in almost two years and it hurt a little bit. Everything is going fine, everything feels great, missionary and all that, and he gets up to hold my legs, etc etc etc, and then he looks down and he looks at me and says, "Ummm, you're bleeding..." And I look at him and cover my mouth and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." And he plays it off, saying, "Hell, I don't care, it's all the same to me." So we continue for awhile, trying this and that, (I won't go into greater detail lol) Everything is really awkward, and an hour or so into it, he says, "Maybe we should stop." He goes to the bathroom to wash his hand and cleans up a bit. It was really embarassing. He asked me if it was from not having sex for a long time, or from my period, and I honestly didn't know. It hurt a lot and I was barely "coming off" of it. I sat there looking at him, pulling my skirt down decently, but he just smiled and pecked my lips and asked me not to worry about it. I still felt bad though, because even I think its gross to have sex on the rag. Cuddling was a little awkward, and we left shortly after. When we went to his car, he didn't open the door for me like he usually did, and it hurt my feelings a little bit.

Guys are very visual, and I'm sure it wasn't the greatest thing to look at, so I kind of just let it slide.

We didn't talk for almost two weeks after that, I let him get back to me though whenever he was ready, because I sure as hell wasn't going to persue it. Haha. It was just awkward knowing that that's how things left off, and he always seemed to be really busy when we did talk... I hate awkward tension, especiallly because I'm not used to it...